Date Night
by Upggrade
Summary: Shepard pisses Jack off. Again. He then makes it up to her. Again.
1. Chapter 1

One morning while Jack is sleeping in, Shepard gets up and starts breakfast. He wants to stay in bed but the look in her eyes whenever he makes her breakfast in bed is too good to miss out on.

While he's getting the food together, he gets a call. He's reluctant to answer until he sees who's calling.

"You didn't get kidnapped again, did you?"

Oriana giggles.

"Not this time, no. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"I wouldn't have answered. What's up?"

"I, had a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

She hesitates and looks down. Being shy is very uncharacteristic for her.

"Well, I hate to ask this because I know you probably get asked a lot and I know you hate it and I don't want to impose and-"

"Oriana! Shut up and spit it out."

"Sorry. So, I've got this professor that really loves you. Like, raves about you all the time. And the student group I'm part of has a fundraising thing coming up soon that he'll be at."

"And you want to bring me to get points with him."

"Exactly."

"You were right. I do get asked that sort of thing all the time and I do hate it."

The disappointment on her face is obvious.

"Oh. That's okay, you don't-"

"When is it?"

Her face lights up.

"You'll go?! Really?!"

He chuckles at her excitement.

"Well, Jack _really_ hates these sorts of things so if I can drag her along, sure."

"Absolutely! Thank you so much for this, I'll send you the details."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye!"

 _Gonna be an interesting breakfast._


	2. Chapter 2

She'd heard him talking to someone but had stayed in bed. It's Saturday, no way in hell she's getting up before eleven.

When she smells breakfast coming she smiles into the pillow.

He walks in and balances the tray on one hand, shaking her shoulder with the other.

"Jaaaa-aaaack, I know you smell that."

She grunts and presses her face into the pillow. Can't let him think he can just wake her up on her day off.

"Well, I guess if you don't want it, I could eat."

She springs upright, knowing full well that that's a threat he'll carry out. He laughs and sets the tray down in her lap.

As she digs in he lays down next to her and steals a piece of toast.

Between mouthfuls, she asks the million dollar question.

"So what are you trying to butter me up for?"

"Well, it started as just doing something nice, but there actually is something."

She just cocks an eyebrow at him and keeps eating.

"Oriana called earlier, there's a fundraiser at her university and she asked me to come."

"I'm not going."

"I, _might,_ have already said we'd be there."

She freezes with her mouth open, a forkful of eggs halfway there, fixing him with a glare. He helpfully extends one finger and slowly pushes the fork towards her mouth. His playfulness fails to distract her.

"You did _what_?"

"It'll mean a lot to Oriana if I go and make a good impression on her professor, and it would mean a lot to me if you come."

"You just want me to wear a fucking dress again."

"It would be nice, yes. Have you seen your legs?"

"I'm still not going."

"Pretty please? I'll make it up to you."

 _There he goes again, with that fucking_ look _, like I mean the whole world to him._

 _God damn it._

She rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Fuck it, fine. Asshole."

He leans over and kisses her temple.

"Love you too."


	3. Chapter 3

They get a lot of stares on their way to the door. He isn't sure who's getting more, him or the scowling tattoo gallery on his arm.

She's wearing an insanely revealing black dress, showing off more ink than any of these highfalutin college types had ever seen. Shepard knew how to pick his battles so he'd said nothing when she put on combat boots.

He's wearing his dress blues, ironed and creased to perfection. On his chest hangs a comical number of medals. In addition to the numerous Alliance commendations he'd earned over his career, there's also a Star of Terra, the highest honor the Alliance can bestow, the silver Council Sigil, created expressly for him after fighting off Sarens attack on the Citadel, the gold Galactic Cross, also created for him after crushing the Reapers, and a half dozen others from each of the major races. He wouldn't normally wear the whole collection, it really is a ludicrous amount, but the whole reason he came tonight was to impress Orianas professor, so he went all out.

Jack tries her hardest not to acknowledge how good he looks because it would make it hard to stay mad at him but that's easier said than done.

They step inside and Oriana meets them near the door.

"Heys guys, I'm so glad you could make it!"

Jack answers first.

"Yeah, whatever. Booze."

Having anticipated this, Oriana helpfully points to the far wall. Jack is off without another word. Not bothered by her attitude, Oriana takes Shepards arm and leads him off to meet people.

He may be an antisocial sarcastic asshole, but he can pull out the charm when he needs to. After forty minutes of annoying, pointless small talk with people he can't stand, she introduces him to the guy he's here for and excuses herself, leaving her professor to gush over his idol.

He suffers through twenty minutes of inane questions like 'What was it like when…' 'How did you know…' 'How does it feel…' before he manages to slip away. He heads over to the bar and finds Jack sitting in front of an impressive number of shot glasses.

"Hey."

Before answering she slams back another shot.

"Your circle jerk over yet?"

He rubs his hand up and down her back, trying to help her relax.

"We'll take off in a bit. Did you at least get to deck anyone?"

"Pfft, no. Everybody knows I'm with you so no ones made a move."

"Sorry. I'll take you somewhere fun soon, I promise."

"You better."

"He better what?" Oriana asks as she slides up on Jacks other side.

"He better make this shit up to me."

"Aw, has it really been that bad? At least you've gotten plenty of free drinks."

"Oh please, I've had water get me drunk faster than this crap."

"Well I really do appreciate you guys coming."

"I take it he liked me then?"

"Oh he's never going to wash that hand again. Mission accomplished."

"Good, then we're out of here."

"Fucking finally."

"Actually, before you go, care for a dance, Commander?"

She gestures towards the dance floor where several couples are slowly swaying back and forth.

"Back off bitch, he's mine."

Jack stands and grabs his wrist, tugging him towards the floor. Oriana just laughs.

"Thanks again guys!"

When they get to the dance floor, Jack presses herself into him and they wrap their arms around each other. They sway back and forth, not caring about the rythme.

They don't say anything for a while, they just stare into each others eyes and drown out the world. After what feels like both an eternity and not nearly long enough, Shepard breaks the silence.

"I'm glad you came tonight Jack, this is nice."

"Yeah, this is. Been pretty fucking boring til now though."

"At least you got to just drink and scowl, I had to actually talk to these losers."

"You're the one that agreed to come."

"As awful as it was, since it ended here, I'm glad I did."

She smiles and pulls him down to her. They kiss deeply for a few moments before she breaks it and presses her face into his neck, content to let him guide her.


	4. Chapter 4

A week later, Shepard meets her at Grissom for lunch. They head back to her classroom so they can have some privacy.

"So, you know how I promised to make it up to you for going to that fundraiser?"

That gets her attention.

"Yeah."

"Well, I got us two tickets to the Colosseum."

Back when humans first hit the galactic scene, they put a lot of effort into spreading their history and culture as a way to introduce themselves properly after the first contact war.

An eccentric krogan warlord heard a tale about the Roman gladiatorial arena. After looking into it, he fell in love. He bought (conquered) a large warehouse on Omega and spent an absurd amount of money recreating a small scale version of the ancient arena. He spared no expense making sure the place matched the legends of old. He even occasionally brought in cloned lions, always a crowd favorite. There were rumors that he planned to flood it for a naval battle. It's an incredibly impractical idea on a space station but everyone agrees he's nuts enough to try it, and possibly determined enough to pull it off.

It's widely hailed as the greatest arena in the galaxy. Jack has always wanted to go but tickets are horrendously expensive and sell out almost instantly.

When she hears that he has tickets, her eyebrows make a bid for orbit.

"What?! How the fuck did you do that?!"

"I might owe Aria a kidney or two."

"Oh this is gonna be fucking sweet! Who's fighting? Are the cats gonna be there? What seats did we get? What-"

"Jack. Jack! I don't know who's fighting but I do know…"

He pauses for effect and she actually holds her breath.

"…we're ringside."

She's on him in a second, forcing her tongue into his mouth and trying to grab every inch of him at once. She starts fumbling with his belt, barely restraining herself from just tearing his clothes off. He grabs her wrists and breaks the searing kiss.

"Jack, we can't, we're at the school."

She leans in and whispers in his ear.

"John, I am going to fuck your brains out on that desk and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me."

The rare use of his first name, her tone and message all conspire to break his brain. Not another word goes through his mind before he grabs her ass and attacks her throat with his mouth. She lets out a moan and enjoys his ministrations for a few moments before she disengages.

She stands, grabs him by the front of the shirt and, using her biotics for assistance, throws him down onto her desk. She climbs on top and resumes her invasion of his mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next two weeks her feet barely touch the ground. She's positively giddy. Her students are glad, being in a good mood means she won't hammer them like usual. She's never been this happy though. It unnerved everyone when she walked into the classroom smiling from ear to ear. They all braced for their impending deaths but none came. On the second day, they started worrying that she was having the worlds longest stroke.

When the day finally comes, they fly out to Omega on a private shuttle. She's practically vibrating with excitement. While she was waiting she'd inhaled every scrap of knowledge she could get about the fights and during the flight, she tries to relay all of it to a very amused Shepard.

They walk toward the Colosseum and they start hearing it when they're still two blocks away. Music is playing, criers are yelling about the upcoming show, vendors line the street and a dense crowd is gathered around the entrance, filing in hurriedly.

They get inside and stop to place a few bets before finding their seats. He hadn't been kidding, they're right in the front row, directly opposite the emperors box.

The aptly named Emperor Krieg had definitely nailed the atmosphere. If it wasn't for the aliens in the crowd, it would be hard to remember that this isn't actually ancient Rome.

While they wait for the show to begin Shepard nudges her shoulder and yells to be heard over the crowd.

"So who'd you bet on?"

"The champ, duh."

"Isn't he old as fuck?"

"Do bad gladiators get old?"

"Good point."

A hush falls over the crowd when two giant pillars of fire erupt on either side of the emperors box. When the flames die down, the largest krogan Shepard has ever seen steps out into view, decked out in ornate red and gold armor. After surveying the crowd for a moment, he bellows.

"Welcome, one and all, to the greatest spectacle you will ever witness! Tonight, the finest warriors from all across the galaxy have gathered here to step out onto those sands, to fight, to kill, and to _die_ , all for your entertainment! They will bleed, you will cheer, and the whole world will know who reigns as champion of the Colosseum!"

When he finishes, another blast of flames heralds a wave of excited cheering.

Jack listens to his speech with rapt attention. She's fully engrossed in the atmosphere of the event. The wonder on her face mesmerizes Shepard. He briefly ponders the fact that that wonder is being caused by the prospect of watching people fight to the death for their entertainment but that thought is gone as quickly as it arrived as Shepard gets swept up in the excitement as well.

Once Emperor Krieg sits down, the crowd turns its attention to the arena. There's a heavy iron gate at each of the cardinal directions. All four open up and a dozen combatants rush out, quickly spreading out.

They're a mix of races and all are lightly armored, with at best leather pads. Each holds a gladius. It's clear that this round is just meant to get the blood flowing, on the sand and in the stands.

The fight is a chaotic mess, with the fighters madly hacking away at each other, only to be flanked by someone else. A few impromptu teams are formed but they inevitably stab each other in the back.

It's hard to follow the chaos. The crowd cheers not for any specific fighter, but for the carnage. Eventually, a lone human stands among the bodies. He plays to the crowd for a minute, basking in their cheers before bowing to the emperor and retreating back through his gate.

Krieg stands and announces the next competitors. This is what the people were really here for. Two gates on the opposite ends of the arena open and the fighters come out.

On one side, a drell with two wickedly curved knives. On the other, a turian foregoing weapons in favor of his talons.

Silence covers the stands as the fighters square up. Suddenly they charge forward and begin trading blows. The drell moves like a serpent but most of his slashes do little, skittering across the turians natural armor plates. The turian makes him pay for every good hit.

The crowd is loving it, their cheers shake the station. Shepard is enjoying watching Jack as much as he is the fight. She's jumping up and down excitedly, yelling encouragements and insults in equal measure.

After several minutes the fighters are both bloodied and tiring. They charge forward again and the drell goes for a front roll under the turians swipe but the bird is too quick. He swings a leg out and catches the drell in the top of the head.

As the reptile reels, the turian puts his foot on his neck and looks to the crowd. They begin yelling either 'life' or 'death'. To Shepards surprise, Jack yells life. He does as well. The drell had fought well, he'd earned his survival.

The turian looks to Krieg for the final judgement. After surveying the crowd, the krogan gives a simple thumbs up.

The turian lifts his foot and extends his hand. The drell takes it. They give each other a respectful nod before leaving the arena.

Two more fights follow before Krieg announces an intermission. Several workers come out and drag the bodies away, followed by musicians and dancers. Scantily clad asari make their way through the stands selling refreshments. Shepard puts his arm around Jack and pulls her in close.

"So is it as good as you hoped?"

"Fuck yeah! This is amazing!"

He smiles and presses their lips together. Her excitement is proving to be rather infectious.

After a few minutes, the dancers recede and Krieg announces the final fight.

"And now, the real show! Our reigning champion finally has a worthy challenger! Nakmor Drack defends his title, and his life, against Golmeth Al'kiir!"

On one side, a large krogan emerges. Stripped from the waist up, he has an impressive array of scars and gouges in his plates. Around his neck hang several skulls and large fangs. He has a massive war hammer on his shoulder and walks with the confidence of a champion.

On the other side a batarian walks out. He's wearing chainmail and leather pads, with an ornate helmet atop his head, two imposing horns jutting up out of it. In his hands he clutches a spear.

The crowd goes wild at their appearance. If they were excited before, they're positively deafening now.

Golmeth takes a wide stance and tries a few experimental jabs. Drack doesn't flinch. He knows that his hammer is slow enough to give the squint a chance to skewer him, so he needs to pick his moment well.

He tries a few swings but each misses by a mile and each is punished by a new stab. When he gets fed up with doing no damage, Drack hurls his hammer with all his might. Golmeth rolls under it but that leaves him vulnerable to being charged. Just as he gets to his feet Drack slams his shoulder into him, launching him several feet. He sprints at the prone batarian but the bastard gets his spear up just in time.

Jack gasps as Drack impales himself. The krogan looks down, more annoyed than anything else. He stands to his full height, yanking the spear out of Golmeths hands as he does. As the spear has a broadhead on it, he knows he can't pull it out. Instead, he pushes it deeper in. He pushes the entire eight foot pole through his gut, reaching behind himself to pull it out.

He looks down at the terrified Golmeth before looking up at the crowd. This time, Shepard and Jack both yell death, you don't challenge a champion and just walk away, but the crowds consensus is clearly life. Before Krieg renders his judgment, Drack huffs at the crowd.

"Ah shut up."

He drives the spear down into Golmeths chest, pressing it several feet into the floor beneath him. This elicits a massive wave of jeers from the crowd.

Drack looks up at Krieg.

"Is that really the best you've got?"

Krieg stares him down for a moment, knowing the crowd needs to be placated.

"Very well. Release them!"

Two hidden hatches open in the floor of the arena. Jacks breath catches in her throat.

"Holy shit…"

Out of each hatch stalks a massive lion. The crowd immediately falls silent.

As the two cats circle him, Drack is careful to keep both in sight. One finally charges him and he rushes to meet it. The beast leaps at him but he deflects it with a backhand. It recovers quickly, sinking its teeth into his thigh.

Drack seizes it by the back of the head and the hind leg. He yanks it off of his leg, giving himself a grievous wound in the process. He lifts the snarling, failing ball of fury above his head and slams it down onto the ground. Before it recovers he brings his foot down on its head, smashing it like a melon.

The other one, which had been biding its time, pounces. It charges silently but Drack had been tracking it the whole time. He spins and brings up his left arm, blocking it as it lunges for his throat. The cat bites down on his forearm with crushing force. He wastes no time driving his fist into its ribcage, effortlessly shattering the bones and pulzeriving its internal organs.

The beast drops dead and he throws his arms up. The Citadel could probably hear the crowd cheering. Shepard joins Jack on her feet and yells alongside her.

Another blast from the torches flanking the emperors box gets everyones attention. Krieg stands and shouts to the crowd.

"Well? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

The cheering lasts for what seems like hours. Jack excitedly grabs Shepards arm.

"Did you fucking see that?! He _punched_ a lions heart out! This place is fucking awesome!"

"I'm glad you liked it as much as you'd hoped."

"Liked it? I fucking loved it! We are so coming back here again!"

Given her reaction to the spectacle, he wanted to come back here for every event.

"Damn straight we are."

She gives him a huge smile which melts his heart before wrapping her arms around his neck and seizing his lips.

When the crowd finally calms and begins to clear out they leave and head back towards the docks. Shepard has his hands full trying to keep Jack moving, she's intent on dragging him down and taking him right there.

Somehow he makes it to the shuttle with his clothes intact. The second the door closes Jack succeeds in pinning him to the wall and ripping his shirt open. He finally stops fighting her. He lifts her off her feet, her legs immediately wrapping around him, and spins around to slam her into the wall.

She gets a hand between her back and the wall and uses a quick biotic pulse to propel herself forward. Unprepared, Shepard loses his balance and falls to his back. Jack hungrily claims his mouth again but he rolls over on top of her and pins her wrists above her head. She arches her back and surrenders to him.

* * *

The next day they wake up on the unforgiving metal floor. While Shepard stretches, Jack stumbles into the cockpit on rubbery legs.

"Wait, what the fuck? We're still on Omega."

"Well yeah, somebody attacked me before I could take off."

"Oh, right. Well before you do that, think you got a round four in you?"

"Have I ever said no to that?"


End file.
